So many people I talk to are full of regret. They are saddened and remorseful of all the things and situations they could have changed if they just did “_____”! Or they didn’t say ”_______”. They wish they had a second chance to do it, say it, a different way-then the outcome would’ve changed.
Or would it have? I wonder.
A parent who is experiencing the painful realization that their child is addicted to drugs. They watch them spiral, self-destruct, change personalities and they can’t stop them. They try to intervene, find help for them, encourage them to get help, come to their rescue if they get arrested. Feed and house them so they’re not homeless. And yet- nothing seems to help. They continue to do drugs and get deeper and deeper. You question yourself: What did I do wrong? How could I have prevented this? This isn’t the child that I raised. What should I do now?
A loved one who suddenly is terminally sick, dies, or unable to care for themselves. You ask yourself: I should have seen the signs, I should have done something sooner. You feel like you could have prevented it. I could have been more tolerate, more loving.
A person that fell for the “wrong one”. Your relationship is toxic, you’re miserable, feel stuck and don’t know what to do. It’s hurtful , unhealthy and getting worse by the day. You rationalize, make excuses and bargain with God. You keep saying to yourself “But I Love them”. Why is this happening to me? Why do I keep making the wrong choices? Someone please help me!
A person who is addicted to drugs or alcohol. When they sober up for a few clear moments: They hate themselves and regret all they’ve done. Why do I keep doing this? Why am I destroying my life, my families lives, my children’s life? Why can’t I change or stop? Just let me die. Please God help me! I don’t want to do this!
Any of this ring a bell? REGRET
REGRET is a useless emotion that eats at you like cancer and kills you slowly. Instead of REGRET, replace it with GRATITUDE.
For a parent who is dealing with their child on drugs: be thankful that you can make the tough choices to help them hopefully change. Be thankful you can pray and have friends and loved ones that will help you through this hard time.
For a loved one who has died or fallen sick: Be thankful you were part of their lives. Forgive yourself for any bad feelings you had had against that person, because you are only human, and that did not cause their demise. And be thankful you are healthy and alive.
For an unhealthy relationship: Forgive yourself for not “seeing the signs!” Learn from it, move on and know that you were meant to have a loving and healthy relationship. Be grateful that you can see that, not feel defeated or sorry for yourself.
For a person who is dealing from addiction: Be thankful you have choices, can change, and can get help that is available to you. Most important : Be thankful that there are people in place to help you on the road back to sobriety, clear thinking, and a healthy life. Be thankful there is a GOD/ higher power! And he/it will help you!
Can people change? Of course!!!
Can you change them? Absolutely not!
Could you have done something different? Yes- but it may not have changed the outcome.
Thoughts become things-chose the good ones!
No More REGRETS!
Be Of Good Cheer!
Mary